BDSM gear: BDSM toys can enhance sexual pleasure by allowing for dominant and submissive roleplaying. If you are new to bondage, consider buying a pair of handcuffs, a blindfold, or wrist and ankle restraints. These simple items can add an exciting element to your sexual encounters by forcing you to focus on every physical sensation. If you enjoy erotic spanking, consider using a paddles, whips, or ticklers. When using BDSM gear, always be sure to have an agreed-upon safe word that you can use if you are ever feeling uncomfortable. Trust and communication are key for good bondage play.
Dildos: One of the most popular types of sex toys, dildo are often phallic in shape. They are designed to comfortably penetrate a vagina, anus, or mouth. Dildos come in many shapes and sizes, but they are often textured with pleasurable ribs or bumps and made out of silicone, glass, and even steel. If you are having solo sex, consider buying a dildo with a suction cup base that you can attach to a wall for hand-free use.
Cock rings: These toys wrap around the base of your penis to stop blood flow back into the body, which can help maintain and enhance an erection. Some cock rings wrap around the scrotum to apply extra pressure. The safest cock rings are made from a soft material like silicone, but they also come in materials like titanium or stainless steel. Vibrating cock rings can enhance sexual pleasure for the wearer and provide clitoral stimulation for a partner. Only wear a cock ring for brief sessions, and take it off immediately if it causes you any pain.
Harnesses: Harnesses allow you to attach a dildo to your body for strap-on play. Use a strap-on for penetrative sex, either vaginal or anal. Harnesses are often fit like underwear, but some have straps that tie around your thighs. You may also wear a harness for bondage purposes. For optimal mobility during sex, be sure to keep your harness snug and your dildo tightly attached.
Sex furniture: Constructed for intimacy, sex furniture can help you position your body in a way that is otherwise difficult or uncomfortable. A wedge pillow is an easy way to lift your pelvis and hold a good position for penetration. Other examples of sex furniture include sex swings, lounge chairs, and shower grips. If you’ve been struggling with a particular sex position, consider getting a piece of sex furniture to support you.
There are seemingly endless variations of these types of sex toys, and the vast choices can feel daunting. If you put in the time to find the right sex toy for your needs, the exploration can lead to exciting and pleasurable discoveries.
LingerieNo matter where you look these days, female sex toys are popping up all over the place. They are in your favorite magazines and your favorite TV shows. And that’s because the misguided stigma that sex toys are only for lonely or desperate people has finally disappeared. Recently there has been a positive transformation in the way that we talk about female pleasure and female orgasm.
There is now a much broader understanding that sex toys are not here to replace anyone. They are designed to give the user more pleasure and help you achieve more orgasms. And that is a great thing, because although the stigma around these toys may be waning, the orgasm gap between women and men is not. And that is why female sex toys are so important. Using sex toys is a completely normal and healthy activity and there should be no shame in doing so. Masturbation and orgasm have so many benefits for females. From lowering our stress levels to easing menstrual cramps and even making us happier, sex toys are all about helping us to get there.
Types of female sex toys If there is an area of your body that you like stimulated, there will be a sex toy available to do just that! Picking your first sex toy can be difficult as there are so many different styles to choose from, but it all comes down to which part of the body it is you want to target. And it's not limited to just the vagina and the clitoris. While these are the two most popular areas for female sex toy use, there are all sorts of toys that you can try. Here is a quick sex toy guide to give you an idea of some of the best female sex toys and how you can use these toys for all different kinds of pleasure. Dildo A dildo is one of the most popular sex toys for women, and much of its popularity comes down to the fact that it is so versatile. Dildos are non-vibrating toys that are used for penetration and internal massage. They can have an anatomical design to look like a replica of an actual penis, or they can be non-anatomical with no penis resemblance whatsoever.
Dildos come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. You can get a big dildo, a mini dildo, a metal or glass dildo, a textured dildo, or even a curved dildo to directly target the g-spot. While many females enjoy dildos for vaginal penetration and g-spot stimulation, you can also get an anal dildo to penetrate the booty and stimulate the nerve endings there. Vibrator You may have heard the buzz that no bedroom is complete without a vibrator of some sort. Well, that’s because these sex toys are designed which the intention of helping you achieve orgasm no matter which part of the body you use it on. A vibrator is an all-encompassing term for any sex toy that vibrates to stimulate erogenous zones of the body. Figuring out which is the best vibrator really comes down to which areas of the body you like to have stimulated. There are external styles that stimulate the clitoris and internal styles which massage the vagina and g-spot. If you want external and internal stimulation at the same time, there is also the rabbit vibrator. This has a vibrating vaginal shaft and external ears which vibrate against the clitoris so you can get the best of both worlds.
Clitoral massager A clitoral massager is one of the top female sex toys you can get when it comes to helping women achieve orgasm. 75% of women need clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm and that is exactly what these clit stimulation toys are designed to do. There are all sorts of clitoral vibes available from the large and powerful wand vibrators to the much smaller bullet vibes. These bullets can be used alone or with a partner during sex too as they are small enough to not get in the way. Recently there has also been a rise in toys that mimic oral sex using suction and pulsing waves around the clitoris, rather than vibration alone to bring the user to orgasm. There are a lot of clitoral toys to choose from and the best clitoral vibrator is dependent on what you like and how you want to use the toy. Butt plug
Female sex toys aren’t only targeted at the vulva and the vagina, though. Butt plugs have seen a huge increase in popularity over the past few years as sex toys have become more mainstream. Butt plugs come in varying shapes and sizes and are designed to create a full feeling in the anus. You can wear a butt plug during masturbation or during partnered play to give the body even more sensation as your sphincter muscles tighten around the plug. A lot of people also use butt plugs to prepare their body for anal sex. They are used to relax and stretch the muscles making the entry of a penis or a larger toy easier and more comfortable. You can also look for a vibrating butt plug for even more stimulation to the booty, or even a tail butt plug for animal role play or to look super cute.
Anal beads If you want to explore anal play but a butt plug seems a little intimidating, then another option is to start off with a set of anal beads. Anal beads are a chain of connected spheres starting small and gradually increasing in size. What makes them so great for beginners is that the beads only need to be inserted as far as you feel comfortable with and you will still get all the amazing benefits. That is because anal beads stimulate the nerve endings at the opening of the anus. This area has thousands of nerve endings, much more than the internal canal, and it is the entry and removal of the beads which offers the most pleasure. This is another toy which can be used alone or with a partner during any kind of play. Try slowly removing the beads during or before orgasm as it can make your orgasm feel a whole lot more intense. Nipple clamps The nipple tends to be one of the erogenous zones of the body that is often overlooked by sex toy users. This is because nipple clamps are commonly associated with pain rather than pleasure. And while this can be the case in some instances, it all comes down to which type of clamp you are using. Nipple clamps work by pinching the nipples and restricting blood flow to the area. If tugged on when being worn, this can cause some pain (which of course, some people will love), but their main purpose is actually the effect when the clamps are removed.
Sexy LingerieOnce removed from the body, the blood is able to return to the nipple creating a rush of sensation and endorphins. After removal the nipple will be more sensitive and responsive to touching, licking, or pinching. If you are new to nipple clamps, look for a style that is adjustable so you can find the level of pressure you like. Tweezer clamps, alligator clamps, or butterfly clamps are all adjustable styles that are ideal for beginners. Handcuffs While most female sex toys can also be used with a partner, there are toys that are designed specifically for this too. Handcuffs are a great entry toy for those starting to get into sex toys and bondage play. Handcuffs are restraint toys for attaching two wrists together or attaching a wrist to something else like a bedpost or chair to restrain movement and the ability to touch from the wearer. The point of this style of toy is to remove the wearer’s ability to touch or move and heighten the rest of the sensitivity on their body. It is also a great way to ease into power play and explore dominant and submissive roles in a relationship.
Other sex toys for women The above are some of the top-rated female sex toys but there are still other options to consider. Kegel balls or ben wa balls are another popular option that also has great benefits for the health of your pelvic floor, or you could try something like a finger vibe or vibrating panty. These last two are particularly fun as a first time sex toy when you are playing with someone else too. What are the best sex toys for beginners? Finding the best sex toys for beginners is actually an easy task if you know what to look for. Start with a toy for an area that you know you get great pleasure from and start small. At least if a toy is too small you can still use it, whereas if a toy is too big you may struggle to use it properly or even to use it at all. And, no matter what type of toy you start with, make sure you always buy high-quality sex toys. This doesn’t mean you need to buy the most expensive toy out. Check out reviews from customers and make sure you are finding a toy that is body safe and is going to last more than a couple of uses.
The world of sex toys has never been more inviting, inclusive, and destigmatized than right now, offering new possibilities for women and other marginalized identities to explore their sexualities. Or at least, that’s what should be happening in theory. Over the past several years, a wave of feminist sex tech companies has revolutionized the male-dominated industry by redefining toys as part of sexual health rather than an illicit perversity. With groundbreaking products engineered for a wider variety of bodies, shame-free messaging, gorgeously empowering design, and anti-male gaze marketing, companies like Dame, Maude, Crave, and Unbound ushered us into a new era of pleasure tech.
“We're living through a golden age of sex toys, a kind of a renaissance where we have access to such incredibly well-constructed and innovative products,” said Ian Kerner, a sex counselor, psychotherapist, and author of She Comes First. “We're living through a golden age of sex toys." The trend shows no sign of stopping, either. A 2018 global market report projected the industry would reach $35 billion by 2023, tracing its growth to this repositioning and rebranding, and the public’s overall “increase in openness, drive for excitement and adventure, passion for quirky products and heightened desire for experimentation.”
“We're living through a golden age of sex toys, a kind of a renaissance where we have access to such incredibly well-constructed and innovative products,” said Ian Kerner, a sex counselor, psychotherapist, and author of She Comes First. “We're living through a golden age of sex toys." The trend shows no sign of stopping, either. A 2018 global market report projected the industry would reach $35 billion by 2023, tracing its growth to this repositioning and rebranding, and the public’s overall “increase in openness, drive for excitement and adventure, passion for quirky products and heightened desire for experimentation.”
Culturally speaking, the sex toy stigma grows more extinct by the day. But it hasn't wholly disappeared. “The shame has lessened, but for some women buying a tool exclusively for their own sexual pleasure is still a big leap,” said Hallie Lieberman, author of Buzz: A Stimulating History of the Sex Toy. “A lot of women still don't think that they deserve that or that it will reflect poorly on who they are as a woman.” To be fair to us, counteracting centuries if not millennia of internalized shame from heteronormative patriarchal society is tough. Many of us might not even fully realize where our hesitation to experiment with sex toys really comes from. When sex toy company TENGA’s 2019 Self-Pleasure Report survey asked participants why they didn’t, 49 percent answered with a variety of expected anxieties and shame. But an overwhelming 54 percent simply said it was because they didn’t think they “needed” one. Judging from the well-documented gender disparity in orgasms in heterosexual intercourse, though, it’s clear our notions of who “needs” to (or gets to) feel satisfied in the bedroom is not equal.
“One of the most common reactions to the thought of using sex toys if you haven’t before is, ‘Oh, those aren’t for me.’ At least, that’s the initial thought I had before I owned a vibrator and lubricant,” said Polly Rodriguez, now CEO and co-founder of her own sex toy company, Unbound. (Note: We’re mostly focusing on heterosexual women and couples here because TENGA’s survey and the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior conducted by Indiana University both suggest LGBTQ folks — especially those with labias — are way ahead of the curve, disproportionately making up the demographic already participating in the sex toy revolution. In this rare case, the straights need more help getting past a heteronormative shame. For LGBTQ folks looking for advice, both Unbound's and Dame’s blogs publish fantastic LGBTQ-focused guides.) Mashable Image The Crescendo is designed to fit a variety of bodies and sexual orientations. Scroll to the end for a full review. Credit: Mashable Composite: Mystery Vibe / Bob Al-Greene / Mashable As it turns out, despite years of slut walks and the anti-slut-shaming movement, the fear of being categorized as a hypersexual woman still rears its head. But not wanting to be one of “those” women who “needs” a sex toy goes even deeper than that.
It comes back to the historied, outdated (not to mention heteronormative) belief that women’s pleasure should only come from a man, and that her sexual awakening should happen with him during intercourse. “It’s like, if I have to use this technology to get off, it feels like I’ve failed as a woman,” Lieberman explained. The focus on the phallus as a more “natural” form of female pleasure is why dildos that mimic the male anatomy were such a central focus of the sex toy industry for so long, despite the fact that many other types of toys — like those for clitoral stimulation — were found to be more satisfying to more women. Some of women’s sex toy shame can be blamed on Freud, Kerner said. He incorrectly theorized that clitoral orgasms were an immature state of a woman’s sexual development, with properly functioning females eventually maturing into vaginal orgasms. “He never described how this would happen,” said Kerner. “But there’s still this idea that somehow clitoral orgasms aren’t ‘real’ orgasms.” "If I have to use this technology to get off, it feels like I’ve failed as a woman.” Meanwhile, research suggests 37 percent of people with vaginas need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, while only 18 percent said penetration alone was enough. Yet the unrealistic ideals of what women’s pleasure should look like persists, despite being incompatible with how most people with vaginas reach climax.
“What I hear from some women is that introducing a vibrator into sex is an indirect admission that something is wrong, that the intercourse isn’t working. And rather than thinking, ‘Well, there’s probably a good reason for why it isn’t working for me,’ they instead internalize that as feeling sort of broken or defective,” said Kerner. “So you have a lot of women coming in and asking, ‘What's wrong with me? Why can't I get off the normal way?” This unconscious fear is closely tied to another common myth around sex toys: that they’ll replace human (presumably male) partners who can’t satisfy women as well as the technology. SEE ALSO: Why did Tinder make a show about the apocalypse? We drank margaritas and found out. Who can forget the Sex in the City episode when Charlotte needs a “Rabbit intervention” so she can stop getting off so much to her vibrator and go back to being in a real relationship. Lieberman even pointed to this trope being in one of the earliest Greek plays, Lysistrata, where women threaten to replace the men at war with dildos.
In the modern age, the fear that women will become so addicted to toys manifests in memes comparing sex toys to partners, or even Cardi B in Hustlers boasting that her pink vibrator is the best and only boyfriend she will ever need. Mashable Image The Fin is a life-changing partnered sex vibrator. Scroll to the end for a full review. Credit: Mashable Composite: Dame / Bob Al-Greene / Mashable Women in heterosexual relationships still often worry that asking to introduce a vibrator or toy into the bedroom will make their partner feel emasculated. In his work with couples, though, Kerner has never found this to be the case, with “most men seeming very receptive to wanting to create experiences that are mutually pleasurable.” If that’s a particular worry, though, partnered sex toys can alleviate the stress of making it about your pleasure alone.
Fifty ShadesThe highly-rated (and also woman co-founded) Crescendo from MysteryVibe is ideal for beginners looking for versatility, designed for solo or partnered play, various positions, and various bodies and sexual orientations, too. For me, something as ingeniously simple, unintimidating, and Intuitive as Dame’s Fin was nothing short of revolutionary, leading to my first simultaneous orgasm with a partner ever. “The new wave of sex toys have opened people up to the idea that toys and masturbation are not in opposition to a relationship. It’s not one or the other. Women don’t have a limited amount of sexual energy,” said Lieberman. Still, the myth of sex toy “addiction” or that vibrators cause permanent desensitization or make it impossible to cum any other way persists. Luckily, there is zero empirical evidence to support these concerns. "Women don’t have a limited amount of sexual energy.” What’s funny, Lieberman noted, is that concerns over vibrators being addictive only started in the 1930s, once sex toys began being openly sold in markets rather than controlled by doctors. That’s when the concept of “dildo attachment” came into the conversation, which claimed to make women stop wanting sex with their husbands.
At worst, Kerner said, vigorous habitual use of a sex toy can simply cause over-familiarity with that specific intense sensation that can’t be replicated by a person. But that’s no different than men who develop difficulty climaxing during intercourse because they masturbate with a very tight grip that can’t be replicated during penetration. Both are easily fixed with a simple break. “Just stop using it for a few days. It’s not heroin. You can put it to the side, and use your hand or go manual with your partner, and it will return to being just as pleasurable,” said Lieberman. One legitimate health concern, however, relates to the type of material used for sex toys. Rodriguez emphasized the importance of medical-grade rather than food-grade silicone, since they often go inside the most absorbent parts of your body. Be very wary of buying anything on Amazon, which often sells knock offs. On the other hand (pun intended), what more masturbation can do is actually improve your capacity to orgasm in general, and give you the space to learn exactly what kind of touch and sensations you like, which you can then communicate to your partner. But outside of its benefits in partnered sex, the power of sex toys is about rediscovering what pleasure means and feels like to you alone. Mashable Image Vibe is one of the cheapest, most beloved beginner toys. Scroll to the end for a full review. Credit: Mashable Composite: Maude / Bob Al-Greene / MASHABLE “I think masturbation is one of the healthiest things we can do when it comes to understanding and appreciating our bodies. For me, and for many in our community, self-pleasure helps us reclaim our bodies for ourselves,” said Rodriguez.
At 21, she underwent menopause after a cancer diagnosis and dealt with feeling estranged from her body. “For many who experience trauma, it can be a truly healing process to redefine your sexuality for yourself.” Another more practical concern for first-time sex toy buyers, found in both the TENGA survey and Unbound’s own community survey, was price. Quality toys can be an investment, and the sheer variety of different types, sensations, and textures can feel paralyzing when you have no reference point for what you like. That’s why the best first toys are reasonably priced, straightforward, and versatile (scroll to the bottom for our best recommendations). People with labias often find the most success when starting with clitoral stimulators like bullets or lipstick vibes. Unbound has a quarterly, affordable subscription box designed for newbies trying to expand their erotic repertoire.
One revolutionary policy Dame made in order to help get over this barrier to entry goes radically against a key industry-standard: They accept returns. (Unbound accepts partial returns for used toys). “First of all, be proud of yourself for buying the toy.” Their policy changed after CEO Alexandra Fine and her co-founder reevaluated the reasons behind this industry standard, which claims that returns are unhygienic. But the more they thought about it, it became clear that other companies accepted returns despite their product being unhygienic to resell, like Casper mattresses and Thinx panties. “What that kind of policy is almost saying is, ‘Hey, your vagina is disgusting. Obviously, we can’t take returns.’ That in itself has shame built into it, and is counter to us creating a shame-free experience,” said Fine. “We want you to feel comfortable letting us know that something didn't work for you. Then, we can help you find something that does.” Still, even when we can get over all those initial walls of shame and finally buy a sex toy, it’s very normal to then face a whole other wave of shame while actually using it. But there are lots of ways to get past that, too.
“First of all, be proud of yourself for buying the toy,” said Lieberman. “Then, accept that your first few experiences may be awkward. I mean, what was your first experience of sex with another person like? You don’t know what you’re doing. It's a new technology that you're learning. It could even feel weird at first if you've never had something vibrating on your genitals. That's OK, too.” Try everything alone first, and on the lowest power setting first — possibly even over your panties or even a towel for clitoral stimulators. People vary on level of sensitivity. Mashable Image Vesper's a gorgeous necklace/vibrator confronts the sex toy taboo head-on. Scroll to end for a full review. Credit: Mashable Composite: Crave / Bob Al-Greene / MASHABLE Overall, one of the best pieces of advice I ever got while joining the sex toy revolution is to treat each new toy like a new sexual partner. Give yourself time to learn how it fits your body, or whether it’s a good match at all. View your early experiences as exploratory rather than setting the expectation to cum, which puts undue pressure on you and your new friend. And honestly, unless you’ve purchased from one of these new women, femme, and non-binary-led sex toy makers, do your best to ignore the marketing and promises on the packaging. Often, you’ll find images of scantily clad women that project a false picture of what masturbation looks like. In reality, it looks more like you in pajamas and a face mask.
Even more importantly, do not believe in the promises of an instantaneous, guaranteed, melt-your-face off orgasm. Again, every body is different, and it’s normal for something that works for most to not work for you. If you’re confused about how to use it (since many manuals are woefully lacking), educate yourself online with reviews that paint more vivid pictures. Many of the companies that are revolutionizing sex toys also provide well-written blogs and step-by-step guides for their toys. "Me Too let people — especially women — feel more comfortable expressing their need, their demand for sexual pleasure." Underlying the new sex toy revolution is a movement that believes pleasure and satisfaction should be a human right. Closely tied to that movement is another one that started in 2017, which finally allowed women to start talking about the ways sex made them feel ashamed, traumatized, and silenced. “The rise of talking about sexual assault from Me Too let people — especially women — feel more comfortable expressing their need, their demand for sexual pleasure,” said Lieberman. It’s deeply unsettling (perhaps even related) that, in the midst of this sexual wellness revolution, we’re seeing a vicious legal backlash trying to strip women of basic rights over their own bodies. Whether it’s challenges to Roe v. Wade, other increasingly restrictive abortion laws, or less access to birth control, “at the bottom of it all is people preventing women from having sex without consequence. It’s the belief that sexual pleasure isn't good in and of itself for women unless it’s to procreate,” said Lieberman.
While it might seem silly (and obviously, different forms of activism are needed to counteract these serious threats), there is power in reclaiming at least one form of control over your body by exercising your right to pleasure with a toy. “My suggestion is to just give it a try,” said Rodriguez. “I have yet to hear from someone who, after trying a vibrator, regrets it. It’s all about just giving yourself permission to explore — and you are the only one who needs to grant yourself permission, to say ‘yes’ to pleasure. Trust me, you deserve it. We all do.” Maude Minimalist, inexpensive, yet powerful, the Vibe’s exquisitely accessible design made it an instant hit for a reason. Its simplicity doesn’t sacrifice function, with a reputation for getting the job done fast. Able to be used externally or internally, it’s the most bang for your buck (and boy, does that buck go).
Bullets UKMystery Vibe A Swiss Army Knife of toys, this bendable, inclusive powerhouse justifies its price by letting you experiment in countless ways (their Playbook has some ideas). One con is its overwhelming app with a paralyzing amount of customization options. Like all Bluetooth-enabled toys, it drops connection often, so just preset your favorite patterns onto the vibe. Though I didn't try it, Unbound’s Bender might be a cheaper, simpler alternative for a similar concept. Crave Break the sex toy taboo with a gorgeous necklace that's also a pinpoint clitoral stimulator designed to get you off wherever and whenever you want. Wearing the Vesper turns your shame into an unapologetic pride. While not the most powerful, it's perfect for those nervous about introducing toys into partnered sex since unscrewing it from your necklace is sexier than fumbling for one in your bedside table. Dame
In a word: life-changing. The simple genius of the Fin is that it puts the power of a bullet between your fingers, making it seamless to use in any position during penetrative sex and one of the best toys for closing the orgasm gap. Despite access to countless other vibrators 4 times more expensive, I dubbed Fin “old faithful,” cause I could always count on it like clockwork to deliver a geyser-level explosion. Tango We-Vibe A personal favorite as my first vibe ever, the Tango’s been a classic, powerful, beloved bullet for years that's simple and gets the job done. If you're more sensitive to vibration, prefer the soft silicone feel, more fluttering sensation, or an adjustable tip, try Dame’s equally great Kip.
Womanizer Worst name for one of the greatest gifts to clitorises, this legend uses suction instead of vibration. Lining it up is tricky at first, but once I did, the orgasm ripped forth from my body in seconds along with an involuntary scream. No toy is a guarantee for all, but this is the closest and an alternative for those not jiving with vibing. Premium includes a quiet motor and autopilot mode perfect for newbies. But cheaper models don’t disappoint. We-Vibe Honestly, I wouldn’t recommend rabbits for beginners because they look intimidating, are a bit unwieldy to figure out at first, and often not all they’re cracked up to be. But since it’s one of the most popular and well-known types, I suggest one of the only ones I found with enough bend, power, and adjustability to provide the amount of clitoral stimulation needed for a variety of bodies. All products featured on GQ are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.
No matter how adventurous you and your partner(s) are, the best sex toys for couples will bring some hot sauce to your coupled sex life. But we don't have to tell you that: The fact that you've landed here means you've blessedly evolved beyond the dusty, misguided notion that even the best sex toys for couples somehow mark you (or your sex life) as deficient. This is good. Even if your between-the-sheets time needs a kick-start, there's exactly zero shame bundled into using these products. (If you're a first-timer looking for some rookie tips, we've got a helpful guide for getting into sex toys. And if you're looking for some solo sex toys, we've got you covered there, too.) Here's why you should care about bringing sex toys into the bedroom, even if everything's [mind-exploding emoji]: because she'll enjoy herself more. A 2017 study noted that 37 percent of women need clitoral stimulation (and not just penetration) to reach the summit of Mt. Orgasm. Adding a vibrator to the mix proves you know how the female body works, and that you're as turned on by her pleasure as you are by her body. It proves you're confident, and adventurous, and an all-around thoughtful partner. (And if all this sounds more hetero than you're looking for, check out our roundup of the best sex toys for men.)
SheVibe Buy Now The Best Pow-Profile Toy: We-Vibe Melt This petite toy uses rhythmic pulses of air to create clitoral sensations that mimic great oral sex—but unlike many other toys with this technology, the We-Vibe Melt is slim enough to slip between bodies easily during penetrative sex, for the ultimate blended orgasm. Image may contain: Cell Phone, Electronics, Mobile Phone, and Phone We-Vibe Melt $149 Lovehoney Buy Now The Best Vibrating Cock Ring: Tenga SVR This vibrating cock ring has a deep, satisfying motor, which enhances sensation for both partners when the vibrating part hits the clitoris or perineum during penetrative sex. You can also slip your fingers through the loop and use them to penetrate a partner while the vibrator stimulates their external bits. How handy!
Image may contain: Tool Tenga SVR $90$72 Lovehoney Buy Now The Best Couples Vibrator: Hot Octopuss Pulse III Duo This vibrator curves around your shaft, stimulating all its most sensitive spots whether you're erect or flaccid. Best of all, the underside of the toy vibrates as well, so your partner can grind against it while you use it. If you love dry-humping but would love it more if it were, well, less "dry," this is the toy for you! Hot Octopuss Pulse III Duo $149 SheVibe Buy Now The Best Strap-On: Tantus Beginner's Strap-On Kit Curious about pegging? This kit will get you started: it comes with an adjustable harness, two differently-sized dildos (including one super-small one for total newbies to butt stuff), and a bullet vibe you can slip behind the dildo to make sure you both enjoy yourselves. Throw some water-based lube into the mix and you're good to go!
Tantus Beginner's Strap-On Kit $90 Lovehoney Buy Now The Best Finger Vibrator: Fin Vibrator The Fin is an easy way to take simple fingering to the next level. Wrap it around your fingers, and bam, now your fingers can vibrate. Add a dab of lube and get to business. Fin vibrator for fingers $85 Amazon Buy Now The Best Sex Toy for Clitoral and G-Spot Stimulation: Womanizer Red Duo Yes, this clitoral and G-spot stimulator is expensive, but can you put a price on Earth-shattering orgasms? The silicone Womanizer Duo does exactly what it's supposed to, and it does it well. Once you've hit the right spots simply keep applying pressure until the pleasure commences.
Image may contain: Appliance Womanizer Red Duo Rechargeable G-Spot and Clitoral Stimulator $220 Lovehoney Buy Now The Best Stealth Sex Toy for Couples: Crave Vesper No crude dildo shapes here: with the press of a discreet button, this necklace turns into a highly functional vibrator. Available in silver, gold, and rose gold, it’s also chic enough to wear just as jewelry. Image may contain: Pendant Crave Vesper $69 Amazon Buy Now The Best Sex Toy for Shower Sex: Je Joue Mio Cock Ring It's high-time we stopped pushing the shower sex agenda, because, really, it’s never as good as you think it’s going to be. Water gets in your eyes, you can’t get enough friction, and you could slip and really hurt yourself. But a select few really enjoy shower sex, and if you or your partner is one of those folks, then go ahead and get this water-proof vibrating cock ring to add even more to the experience.
Image may contain: Cushion, Tape, Pillow, Indoors, and Room Je Joue Mio Luxury Rechargeable Vibrating Cock Ring $110 Lovehoney Buy Now The Best Sex Toy for Back Door Beginners: b-Vibe Petite but highly efficient, the b-Vibe isn’t your ordinary vibrating butt plug. The device actually replicates the sensation of being rimmed, which, yeah, feels great. Image may contain: Cutlery b-Vibe Remote Control Rechargeable Vibrating Rimming Butt Plug $145 Lovehoney Buy Now The Best Solo Sex Toy That's Also Fun with a Partner: Tenga Flip Zero This sleeve proves that a proper sex toy for men does exist. Bring it into the bedroom to mix things up, or use it for masturbation when you’re not up for company.
Image may contain: Bottle Tenga Flip Zero $110 Lovehoney Buy Now The Best Classic Vibrator: Le Wand Developed over 50 years ago, the Hitachi Magic Wand is the mother of all vibrators. Over the years, wands have evolved as sex tech has progressed, and Le Wand is now the newest rechargeable take on the old design. Its vibrations are more powerful and its design is more ergonomically effective. If you're going to buy one and only one sex toy to keep in your bedroom, it should probably be this one. Image may contain: Human, Person, and Electronics Le Wand vibrating massager $180$126 Le Wand Buy Now The Best Long-Distance Sex Toy: LOVENSE Osci 2 If you’re in a long-distance relationship then you should consider getting a long-distance sex toy. Using Bluetooth, one partner can control the toy from an app thousands of miles away. The LOVENSE Osci 2 has a curved design developed to hit the G-spot. Once there, it rapidly oscillates back and forth to (hopefully) create a body-shaking orgasm.
Mobile Sex Toys UKLOVENSE Osci 2 G-Spot Vibrator $119 Amazon Buy Now The Best Sex Toy for the Kinkily Romantic: Upko personalized leather handcuffs Image may contain: Strap Upko leather handcuffs $150 Upko Buy Now Restrain your sex life with these gorgeous Italian leather personalized handcuffs. You get to pick what they say, so buy your human pet cuffs with their (or your) name on them. Or, take the ultra-romantic route and simply have them say something filthy—up to you. Each letter is 24-karat gold-plated and inlaid with sparkly crystal. While we suggest strapping them on your partner so you can have full control, these cuffs are so gorgeous that anyone could wear them to the right club as jewelry. The Best Mildly Kinky Sex Toy for Couples: the Wartenberg Wheel If you and your partner are interested in making foreplay a little more interesting, or dabbling in some light BDSM, the infamous Wartenberg Wheel is the perfect (and affordable) start. It's a real medical device—neurologist Robert Wartenberg (1887–1956) designed the wheel to test nerve reactions. But naturally, the kink community took it over upon realizing how good it felt on erogenous zones. For those interested in medical play, the lab coat is not included.
Image may contain: Tool, Brush, and Toothbrush Kookie International Wartenberg Wheel $15 Babeland Buy Now The Best Sex Toy for New Angles: Liberator Whirl Missionary goes from plain vanilla to extra sprinkles on top with the right sex pillow. The Liberator Whirl looks like any other cute throw pillow, so you can keep it on your bed when parents are in town. But it has secrets: it allows for new angles of penetration, it’s moisture-resistant and ready to get dirty, and it comes with metal rings for attaching handcuffs. The pillow comes in nearly every color in the rainbow so it’s sure to match your bedroom aesthetic. Image may contain: Cushion, Human, Person, Pillow, Clothing, Apparel, Back, and Dating Liberator Whirl
Liberator Buy Now The Classic-for-a-Reason Sex Toy: Cordless Magic Wand Image may contain: Bottle Magic Wand cordless vibrator $150 Lovehoney Buy Now Ownership of one of these is basically required for all horny adults. The cordless, rechargeable version of the original wand works just as well, except you can enter the bone zone anywhere. (In the olden days couples used to have to boink next to an outlet.) Use it on your partner’s clitoris during sex, or honestly, just as a back massager. This thing really feels good anywhere. The Hottest Sex Toy: Lora DiCarlo Tilt Not only did Lora DiCarlo manage to make a sex toy that works on all genders and genitals, but this must-have warms up above body temperature, adding an extra element of coziness. So whether you have a G-spot and clitoris or the P-spot and perineum, stick it in and relax, baby. Image may contain: Cushion, Pillow, and Purple Lorra DiCarlo Tilt warming plug
Lora DiCarlo Buy Now The Best Sex Toy with a Sense of Humor: Clone-A-Willy If the name “Clone-A-Willy” makes you laugh, good! You have a pulse. It’s completely ridiculous and nothing but fun, so if you want to give this as a gag gift, by all means. But it actually does a pretty good job cloning a willy. Think of all the doors (and orifices) that will open. This stuff is supposed to be fun, remember? When it comes to intimacy with your S.O., dirty talk and mutual self pleasure may be the stars in your playbook. But if you’re in a long-term relationship, you may also be ready to take the current routine to new heights. So, how else can you light up the erotic energy? Sex toys for couples are a good place to start. (Yep, that vibrator stashed in your nightstand for alone time isn't the only way to play.) But opening this proverbial door can feel murky for some couples, whether it's due to lack of experience, nerves, or even shyness. So, how do you, well, begin? "Be patient with each other. Don’t force it,” says certified sex therapist, Jacqueline N. Mendez, LMFT. "Sex toys are about having fun and learning about what feels good to you."
Mendez puts adult toys into six primary categories: vibrators, dildos, anal toys, sleeves, pumps (toys that provide sucking sensations), and packers (aka prosthetics). In the spirit of demystifying couple's play, we're breaking down the best places to start for beginners, starting with the shame-free and sex-positive options from JimmyJane™—the brand on a mission to make sexual wellness fun and empowering. Once you start experimenting, keep the dialogue open and honest with your partner. "It’s easier to talk about sex toys with partners when someone speaks about it from how it helped them feel versus what it is supposed to do—especially if one partner is more experienced than the other," advises Mendez. From there, Mendez says, it’s all about consent—how and where the gadget will be used—whether you're using it as the star of the show or for foreplay. Get ready to turn up the heat with the picks below. RELATED STORIES Make 2022 Your Year for *Self* Love With These Sex-Positive Solo Toys Make 2022 Your Year for *Self* Love With These Sex-Positive Solo Toys This Vibrating C-Ring Is Essential for Anyone Who Struggles To Orgasm From Penetrative Sex This Vibrating C-Ring Is Essential for Anyone Who Struggles To Orgasm From... Keep scrolling and find the best sex toys for couples that will boost your erotic connection, together.
Vibrating Toys SHOP VIBRATING TOYS JimmyJane™ ASCEND 3™ $120 JimmyJane™ DEIMOS™ $125 JimmyJane™ NEPTUNE 2™ $150 According to Mendez, any self-pleasure tool can be a sex toy, and experimenting with these gadgets is part of the fun. "Finding something that works for you during solo play and then bringing your partners in later keeps things fresh," she says. If this brought to mind vibrators (ding ding ding!), here's where to start: The ASCEND 3™, DEIMOS™, and NEPTUNE 2™ are pulsating vibrators that can be used alone or together. If you’re seeking clitoral stimulation (for that, the ASCEND 3™ is your go-to), even more oomph (try DEIMOS™ for max clitoral vibrations), or prostate pleasure (consider NEPTUNE 2™), each well-being toy has intuitive remote controls that can dial up the intensity for a spontaneous surprise. Massage Oils SHOP FOREPLAY
JimmyJane™ HYDRATE MASSAGE OIL $42 JimmyJane™ VELVET SPICE™ $42 Just remember, the orgasmic climax isn’t the only part of an erotic experience. “Everything begins with foreplay,” says Mendez. “Perhaps start with a non-genital area of the body. This would also be a great way to find other erogenous zones in each other.” Heighten the mood with touch before introducing a sex toy into the equation with sensual add-ons like the citrusy HYDRATE MASSAGE OIL™ or aromatic VELVET SPICE™ candle. "Massage oils are a nice way of helping each other relax and begin to play," Mendez notes. Vibrating panties SHOP VIBRATING PANTIES JimmyJane™ STARLA + CALISTA™ $135 JimmyJane™ ASCEND 3 + CARPO $135 JimmyJane™ STARLA + TYRO™ $135 “Keep introducing different parts of your erotic energy to each other,” says Mendez. “You can also discover new ways to play with each other.” If the word "new" piqued your interest, may we suggest you add vibrating panties to your list?
bondageThe JimmyJane™ VIBRATING PANTIES COLLECTION™ combines dressing up (think sheer lace) and sensation play (a silicone vibrator that’s controlled by you or your partner) in one discreet, remote-controlled package. Choose from three styles (an open-back lacy number, a standard cheeky, or a keyhole bikini), and you can pick your vibe... and, ahem, vibrator. Women over 50 often experience more trouble having an orgasm than they did when they were younger. The culprit: lower blood flow to the genitals, combined with diminished production of both testosterone and estrogen. The result: More time is required to climax — or orgasm may not occur at all. Woman holding gift behind her back, Sex toy primer (Kris Ubach and Quim Roser/cultura/Corbis) CORBIS Pepper discusses the most popular types of sex toys and explains how to use them discreetly. Women and their partners can overcome these changes by getting creative.
Vibrators and other gadgets, once viewed as appropriate for solo use only, can dynamically improve a couple's sex play, helping both partners achieve the elusive "Big O." That statement may be news to a minority of readers: A survey conducted by the authors of The Normal Bar (I'm one!) this year found that more than 50 percent of respondents over the age of 50 use sex toys individually or as a couple. The others, I suspect, aren't using them simply because they don't know which ones to try. To fill that knowledge gap (and a few others), here's my decidedly non-prim primer on sex toys: Good vibrations Various iterations of the vibrator, now available in battery-powered or plugged-in models, have been around since the late 19th century. By directly stimulating the nerves, the device helps activate those that are not responding to the usual methods of arousal. Vibrators come in various shapes and sizes — some lifelike. Many models feature adjustable speeds of vibration, a crucial feature for skin that may have become supersensitive over the years. More on Sex 6 myths about vibrators Great sex without intercourse How much do you really know about love and sex? A guy's guide to what women really want
The most famous vibrator is the rabbit, which has been selling briskly ever since Charlotte became addicted to a combination vaginal-clitoral stimulator by that name in Episode 9, Season 1 of Sex and the City in 199 (The clitoral-stimulator portion resembles a pair of bunny ears.) Other popular vibes are the pocket rocket — made for external use, it's four inches long and easy to tuck in a purse — and the G-spot stimulator, a dildo or vibrator that curves up at the end to reach the nerve-rich G-spot on the roof of the vagina. Additionally, there are buzzing and nonbuzzing dildos — penis-shaped objects that can be inserted inside a woman's vagina. Used with a lubricant, these can supplement intercourse, especially if a male partner has inconsistent erections. Put a ring on it Let's say you're a guy and you want to get into the spirit of things; would you consider a penis ring? These are becoming less exotic than they sound; they're often shelved near the condoms in a pharmacy. The ring has a gently expanding band that fits around the base of the penis; a small button activates a vibrator on the ring, positioned to massage the woman's clitoral area during intercourse. So-called "two-headed" versions of the penis ring stimulate both partners simultaneously — sending more blood flowing to the penis.
Another toy popular with older guys is the C ring; it fits around both the penis and the scrotum, and is donned before an erection to boost the quality and duration thereof. The C ring must be removed after orgasm, lest it cut off circulation and cause serious problems. These gadgets take the pressure off performance. They may also strengthen your relationship: Research shows that trying something new often brings a couple closer together. And did I mention they are fun? The remote-control vibrator, for example, is tailor-made for couples with a sense of humor: The vibrator is sewn into panties and, when activated by remote control, sends quiet vibrations across the clitoral area. A surefire antidote for even the most deadly-dull dinner party! Shop smart Whew, that's a lot of toyful terrain to cover!
Pro Stylish option when you're on the go Con Charge can wear down over time Rechargeable: Yes Waterproof: Water-resistant If you don't want to keep your sex toys locked away in your nightstand, take the Vesper with you for a night out on the town. Made from high-polish stainless steel, the 3-inch slim pendant shape hangs on a chain around your neck with an intense vibration on the tip for focused clitoral stimulation. "Wear it out and then use it wherever you'd like," Wright recommends. "It's sexy to wear something so out in the open–if you know, you know." Best to simulate oral sex: The Womanizer Pro40 The Womanizer Pro40 VIEW ON LOVEHONEY | $75
VIEW | $70 Pro USB charging cable Con Vibration could be stronger Rechargeable: Yes Waterproof: Yes Womanizer's Pleasure Air technology provides clitoral stimulation without direct contact, so you get all the pleasure without overstimulating the nerves. The waterproof toy comes with six intensity levels and hours of battery life. Certified sex therapist Bat Sheva Marcus, Ph.D., MSW, MPH, notes this is a brand she recommends often. "It's not inexpensive, but because the suction needs to be fairly powerful, it's worth paying up for this. Many women say it feels like oral sex. So if you are an oral sex fan, and that gets you off, this one might be for you." Best for clitoral stimulation: The Magic Wand The Magic Wand VIEW ON GOOD VIBRATIONS | $130 VIEW ON AMAZON | $120 Pros Long battery life Plug-in and battery options Cons Bulky size Rechargeable: Yes
Waterproof: No The Magic Wand is known as the little black dress of sex toys. It's so consistent, Marcus recommends every woman should have a wand in their vibrator collection. The rechargeable pick comes with an updated, easy-to-clean silicone head and the same deep, rumbly vibrations for strong orgasms. "It's an all-around massager that works not only on my pleasure zones but also on other parts of my body or my partner's like the back, neck, and shoulders after long travels," Moore says. Best for queer women: Wet for Her's Two Finger Extender Wet for Her's Two Finger Extender VIEW ON WET FOR HER | $40 Pro Can be more comfortable than using a dildo Con Material could be softer for flexibility Rechargeable: N/A
Waterproof: Water-resistant Ideal for G-spot stimulation, the finger extender was ergonomically designed so you could easily slip your two fingers into the toy. The body-safe material lets you feel your muscle contractions and the warmth of your body, so the touch feels natural and super-soft. Good for solo or partnered masturbation, customers rave that the toy is amazing for those who love finger play. Best for innovation: Lovense Nora Lovense Nora VIEW ON AMAZON | $120 VIEW ON LOVENSE | $100 Pro Remote controlled Great for long-distance relationships Con Customers have noted problems with the toy holding a charge Rechargeable: Yes Waterproof: Water-resistant "I have to admit I don't get off from penetration alone, and I know most people don't either. That's where rabbit vibrators with clitoral and internal stimulation come in," Moore notes. The water-safe and body-safe Nora toy has an external vibrating arm to deliver rumbly vibes to the clit while the insertable arm rotates instead of vibrates, which uniquely stimulates your G-spot. So, where does the innovation come in? The technological features. The app-controlled vibrator can be used at close range or far away, which also makes it a great sex toy for long-distance relationships. "You can even sync it to your favorite playlist or your partner's voice," she says.
Tips to keep in mind: See your sexuality as part of your self-care. Sexual self-care is about checking in on your sexual likes, dislikes, and preferences since they can change over time. Being in rhythm with your body and prioritizing pleasure via masturbation allows you to nurture a deeper connection with yourself. Bringing toys into your sexual self-care practice can be a bridge to work through any shame and traverse new sexual ground as well. Get in touch with your body. You can't find the right toy unless you know what makes your body tick. Phillips suggests running through several questions to help you figure out the particular features you'll want with your sex toy: "Is it to spice up your sex life with your partner? Are you not being pleasured enough, and you are tired of using your hands and fingers? Are you having a difficult time achieving an orgasm?" Getting down to the nitty-gritty opens you up to explore your pleasure zones and the type of touch you would prefer, which narrows down your choices.
Elevate the sensations you already like. Think about what you already like in bed, and then look for a toy that can give you the sort of focused stimulation you crave. "For example, if you really like using your fingers in a fast, pressure-filled way on and around your clitoris, try something that vibrates on and around your clitoris," advises Wright. "If you like the feeling of flickering on your clitoris, find a toy that mimics this either with air, a tickler, or suction. If you like dual-stimulation (penetration and clitoral stimulation) find a toy with dual stimulation." Try out new things you're curious about. It's not just about sticking with what you know. Sex toys offer a pathway to experiment with new kinks individually or in partnered scenarios. So, break away from the familiar activities and be as curious as you want to be. Trying out anal beads, remote-controlled vibrators, or internal g-spot vibrators can empower you to play out any secret fantasies or try out that hot move you saw in your favorite porno. (Here's our full guide to using every kind of vibrator.) Choose the proper materials. In the world of sex toys, not all sex toys are created equal. The FDA doesn't regulate the sex toy industry since they're not considered medical devices, so they're classified as "novelty items." Therefore, it's important to have some awareness about the chemical makeup in your sex toys to avoid any dangerous compounds. The exact material of your toy plays a heavy consideration here, and body-safe materials are king. "Don't use toys made from anything besides silicone, borosilicate glass, or stainless steel. It's OK if a handle is made of ABS plastic, but anything going on or in your bits needs to be body-safe," Wright says.
Mobile Sex Toys UKLube, lube, lube. Just like with sex, you don't need to just rely on natural lubrication to get you going. "Make sure you have plenty of lube on hand," Wright suggests. "Everyone needs it. I promise it makes everything better." The exact amount depends on whether you're using the sex toy internally or externally, but you can apply the lube directly on top of the toy or on your body. How to clean your toys. Wright recommends using a sex toy cleaner that's gentle enough for the genitals but also strong enough to get rid of bacteria. "How you clean a toy varies depending on the material that the toy is made out of. Some say gentle soap and water is fine; however, there are so many variables when it comes to the ingredients in soap that I prefer to use something I know isn't going to mess up vaginal pH." (Here's a full guide about how to exactly clean every sex toy out there.) She shares a few tips below: Store toys in a relatively temperature-controlled place to prevent bacteria growth. Don't store silicone on silicone (the same reason you don't use silicone lubricant on silicone toys; it creates microscopic holes for bacteria growth).
If something is glass or stainless steel, boil them! Especially if they're being used anally. If they're only being used vaginally and on one person, a toy cleaner will suffice. Clean the sex toy before and after use to wash away dirt, bacteria, microscopic organisms, body fluids, etc. Depending on the material of the toy, leave it out to air dry or towel dry before storage. The takeaway. Sex toys are a great way to invite fun into the bedroom, even if it does require a little bit of research and experimentation to find the best sex toys that work for you. These sex toys are a great starting point to help you fulfill your sexual needs and stay curious about what turns you on. The best part is that you don't have to stop at just one toy—you can get as many as your heart desires. Whether you’re perusing the aisles and displays at an IRL sex toy emporium or scrolling online, shopping for a sex toy can be a little overwhelming. Not only do you have to figure out what everything does, you also have to figure out if it aligns with how you like to be done.
That’s why we called on three sex toy experts (nay, connoisseurs) and asked them to give us the 411 on the main types of sex toys — all of which can be bought online. Below they explain what these sex toys do and how to know if one deserves a place in your drawer. Dildo What the heck makes a dildo, well, a dildo? According to Lisa Finn, a sex educator at sex toy boutique Babeland, “A dildo is anything phallic-shaped, or vaguely phallic-shaped, that’s designed to penetrate a vagina, anus, or mouth.” Standard dildos Also known as single-ended dildos, standard dildos most resemble biological penises in shape and function. “There are so many internal hot spots in the body, including the G-spot and A-spot in vulva owners and P-spot in people with penises,” Finn says.
She adds that a standard dildo can be used by hand or worn in a harness to stimulate these spots. Safety note: It’s only safe to put a dildo in your bum if it has a flared base that’s bigger than the widest part of the dildo. If you’re planning on using the dildo during solo sex, Finn recommends a dildo with a suction cup base, like the Avant P1 Pride Freedom dildo. Why? Because then you can attach it to a shower wall and ride it the way you might if a partner was involved. If you’re planning to use it to peg, opt for a slim, texture-free dildo, like the Tantus Silk small (or medium) dildo. And if you’re looking for a dildo that looks like a biological penis, it doesn’t get better than New York Toy Collective’s Carter or Leroy. Textured dildos Changing the material the dildo is made out of to vary the sensation — for example, a dildo made out of stainless steel will be heavier than one made out of silicone, and therefore increase the sensation of fullness — isn’t the only way to alter the texture.
There’s also a variety of textured details you might experiment with once you’ve confirmed that you enjoy dildo play or penetration. “Some have ripples or waves,” Finn says. “Some have more pronounced heads and are super veiny. Some have little textured nubs and bumps.” Double-ended dildos As you might guess, this dildo iteration features a head at both ends. Usually 12 to 24 inches long, some look like two dildos fused together (like the Lovehoney Ice Gem) and others are U-shaped (like the Ruse double dildo). “Depending on the shape, double-ended dildos allow you to experiment with double penetration either in the same hole, or in different holes, for a sense of fullness,” Finn explains, “or to experience extra-deep insertion.” Money-saving hack: You can make your own double-ended dildo with a double-sided suction cup. Strapless strap-on Sometimes the terms “strapless strap-on” and “double-ended dildo” are used interchangeably, but they’re pretty different.
While double-ended dildos are typically U- or I-shaped, strapless strap-ons are L-shaped. “Strapless strap-ons are ergonomically designed so that one partner can wear the toy and experience a sensation of fullness while also thrusting into a partner,” Finn explains. “They can also be worn by somebody who wants to jack themselves using something phallic, or receive a blow job,” she adds. Cheers to gender euphoria! Note: While the name of this toy implies you should be able to wear it harness-free, “thrusting while trying to hold the toy inside your own body is incredibly taxing on the pelvic floor muscles,” says sex educator Cassandra Corrado. “So don’t hesitate to reduce the strain by also wearing a harness over the top,” she says. The best strapless strap-on on the market is hands down — or should I say hands-free — the Fun Factory Share. Harness Standard dildos can be worn inside a harness for strap-on play. There are a few different types of harnesses, but when shopping for one the most important thing is to find one that fits.
“The harness should be really snug — or be able to be adjusted to be really snug,” Corrado says. “Whether you’re thrusting into someone else, into your own hand, or just wearing it around, you don’t want the dildo to be wiggling around,” she explains. The snugger the fit, the more control you’ll have over the attachable phallus. Strap-on style Decked out in straps, this type of harness is super-duper adjustable, which means you can make it tighter against your body. “SpareParts is the gold standard of the strap-on harnesses. They look cute, have incredible holding power, and come in a variety of styles,” Corrado says. Thong-style strap-ons, like the Roadster harness, have a strap that goes between the legs and are generally more comfortable for folks with vulvas. Jockstrap-style strap-ons, like the SpareParts Joques, feature straps around each of the butt cheeks and the waist. “[This style] basically gives your butt a butt lift,” Corrado says.
bondageThere’s also double-strap strap-ons, which are designed to be worn by people with penises. There’s a hole for the penis and a second one for the base of the dildo. These are a great option for double-penetration play and for penis owners with erectile dysfunction. Best on the market: SpareParts Deuce. Underwear-style “You can also find harnesses that look like boxers or briefs and even thongs,” Corrado says. “They’re great for people who want to wear a harness under their clothes, and those who want to wear them to pack,” she says. Corrado recommends anything from the brand Rodeoh, as it’s usually more sturdy than other underwear-style harnesses on the market and home to a million different styles. Bondage harnesses Beyond harnesses for strap-on sex, there are also body harnesses that are commonly seen in the BDSM and kink scene. Some types you might see:
chest harness collar harness full-body harness External vibrator Does it vibrate? Is it intended to be used outside the body? Then — ding, ding, ding — it’s an external vibrator. And boy oh boy are there a lot of different types of external vibes. “All external vibrators are great products,” says sex educator and sex toy reviewer Indigo Wolfe. “It comes down to figuring out which is the most great for you, based on what you enjoy sexually.” Use the chart below to figure out what subcategory of external vibrator is best for you. Type of external vibrator What it does that’s special Our pick Palm vibrator Shaped like a computer mouse, these are ergonomically designed to cover the vulva and stimulate your labia and clit. Le Wand Point Jewelry vibrator These multitasking vibes can be worn (as jewelry) and adored (as clit vibrators). Vesper Crave Panty vibrator Surprise: These clip into your panties for hands-free clitoral stimulation at home, or at a restaurant. We-Vibe Moxie Wand vibrator Shaped like microphones, wand vibrators have a bulbous head that’s designed to deliver super intense, rumbly vibrations anywhere on the body (external genitals, back, butt cheeks, etc.). Magic Wand
Finger vibrator These small vibes slide onto or sit between two digits so you can bring your hands between your legs to enjoy the vibration. Dame Fin Bullet vibrator About the size of a battery, bullet vibrators provide buzzy, low-intensity vibration to your bits. They fit inside most harnesses to give the strap-on wearer stimulus. Unbound Zip Clitoral vibrator This category has no limits! Really, anything that can stimulate the clit qualifies. When shopping for your own clit vibe, think about what shape might work best for your anatomy. Dame Eva II Vibrating penis ring Vibrating cock rings slide over the penis and offer stimulation to the scrotum or a partner’s clit during P-in-V. Lelo Tor 2 Penis vibrator Penis vibrators are designed specifically to fit over, or encase, the cock with vibration. Mysteryvibe Tenuto Internal vibrator Do you enjoy having your bum hole penetrated? How about your front hole, if you have one? If the answer is Y-E-S to either, it’s time to add an internal vibrator to your sex toy collection. The exact type of internal vibrator you purchase will depend on what type of sensation you like internally.
Type of internal vibrator What it does that’s special Get this toy if… Our pick G-spot vibrator The G-spot is a nerve-dense pleasure zone located 2 inches inside along the front vaginal wall. G-spot vibrators are ergonomically designed to stimulate this zone. You like shallow penetration. Lelo Mona Wave A-spot vibrator 2 to 3 inches deeper than the G-spot sits another pleasure-zone: the A-spot. Any super long vibe can be used to stimulate the area. You enjoy deeeep penetration. Fun Factory Stronic G Egg vibrator Slightly larger than a bullet vibrator, egg vibes are designed to be inserted vaginally for internal stimulation. Note: These aren’t anus-safe. You enjoy feeling full. We-Vibe Touch Egg-on-a-stick vibrator Basically an egg vibrator with a handle, these are great beginner toys for internal exploration. You’re on the market for your first vibrator. CalExotics G-Spot Tulip Intimate Vibe Anal vibrator Any vibrator with a flared base qualifies as an anal vibrator. The most common are vibrating butt plugs. You enjoy the sensation of having your ass eaten or thrust into. b-Vibe Rimming Plug 2 Vibrating prostate massager The prostate is a nerve-dense patch of tissue 2 inches inside the rectum (toward the penis). Vibrating prostate massagers offer pressure and vibration against this spot. You have a prostate and enjoy intense prostate stimulation. Lelo Bruno Combination vibrator What happens when an external vibe and internal vibe have a baby? You get a combo vibrator!
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